i want to tell you about this very rational fear of my mine.look, i don't know if you know this about me but i have a near photographic memory and i'm fiercely proud of it.i can recall every word, every gesture, every laugh, every look of scorn of yours if i just concentrate hard enough.recounting these i have ambivalent feelings.i love to hear your lilt, your wise words.but then this also brings with it a sharp sense of loss or rather a LOVE PANG. i begin craving for more proof that you were not a figment of my imagination but actually existed in all your perfection.this leads to a vicious cycle of memories,love,hope,loss,disbelief,memories.now your memories are all i have and i guard them with fierce determination.they are mine alone and i cannot afford to loose them which is my fear.
what if one day i wake up and there are no more phantoms of you in my memory bank.it has already started.your images have started becoming blurred as more time passes.the part of my mind's hard disc where your memories are stored has been accessed so may times in the recent past that soon bad sectors may be reported.
this brings us to my second but somewhat irrational fear.i have experienced for youwhat i think must be once in 7 births sort of love.i'm not a great believer in reincarnation.however, i have been feverently praying to God to give me just one more birth with the memories of this life's love with it.i never want to forget what i could do with a small token of your affection.maybe, in next life everything would be perfect. it's never bad to hope as hope is the best of things.
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